HERE I GO AGAIN .... ON MY OWN.....

I must be the Queen of the Bad Bloggers.  Last year I didn't even average one post per month.  After all of these years I ask myself why I don't just close this blog down?  I guess because I keep telling myself that I WILL keep up with it and I WILL use it to get my feelings/ideas/recipes/books/studies/life down in a place that will be accessible for my kids someday!

So what has been going on in my life?

March through November I went on a few vacations with my beau, I worked, spent time with family, and spent time with him.  I started some online classes  and started a new Bible study of the Old Testament.

In November I broke up with my boyfriend of a year.  It was a hard decision and I changed my mind a couple of times, but in the end I realize it was the right choice for both of us.  I wish him well.

In November (partially due to the break-up, but more due to hormones, chronic depression, and my thyroid crashing)  I fell into a very deep, dark depression.  I would drag myself out of bed, work for the day, and crawl right back in.  I stopped studying, reading, talking to people .....  It was the worst depression I've had in a long, long time.

About mid-December an old friend of mine reached out to me and asked if I would help him out with some song lyrics.  He is an amazing musician but sometimes the lyrics don't come as easily to him.  (BTW his fiance has a beautiful singing voice - I'm hoping to hear her sing some of my lyrics someday!)

It was like God was tossing me a lifeline.  This friend and I hadn't spoke in quite a long while and hadn't collaborated together in more than a year.  When I told him what was going on with me, he said that he had really turned to God over the past few months and had given Him control.

I started writing right away and even though it was a faint spark - I felt  it.  Joy.  Every day I would start doing something else I enjoyed.  I'd read a little.  Do a word study in the Bible.  Pray.  By the first of the year I was feeling OK.  And for now - I am satisfied with OK.  I might even be a bit more than OK right now.

I started 2020 with goals and ways to make my life simple and happy. And one of the things that I have on my list is to start blogging again.  So here I am!

WHAT I'VE BEEN READING:  I finished "Inner Order, Outer Calm" for the Paper & Glam Book Club and it was not very helpful.  Maybe if you are in your 20s or even early 30s some of these ideas are new to you.  I also finished "Verity" by Colleen Hoover and LOVED IT!  I am going to do a review this weekend!  I'm now reading "Summit Lake" - another murder-mystery-thriller and it's pretty good so far.

WHAT I'VE BEEN STUDYING:  On January 1st I started the Bible study "Seamless" by Angie Smith.  It puts the whole Bible in order chronologically so you can see it as one *seamless* story.  I'm really enjoying it.  I'm also doing daily devotions with "Jesus Calling".  Love it.  Put my online classes on hold temporarily until I have a firm foundation of where I want my life to lead.

WHAT I'VE BEEN WATCHING: I'm embarrassed to say! Lots of YouTube videos on budget family meals, Clean House, NYPD Blue, and a bunch of True Crime shows.

WHAT I'VE BEEN COOKING:  I'm trying to really cut back on grocery spending this  year!  I tracked spending over the first couple of weeks of January and I cannot tell you how much money I wasted on side trips to the gas station for bottles of Diet Pop, snacks, and of course ordering out 3x.  *hanging head in shame*  It was eye-opening!  I am now attempting to cut our budget back from $500/month for a family of 3 adults + kitties (including all household and pet supplies) to $350. I recently made a pork roast and the leftovers made pulled pork sandwiches and then some pulled pork pizza.  I made a pot of black bean and smoked sausage soup for my dad and myself and the leftovers combined with some leftover rice and some Cajun seasoning to make some jambalaya.  I'm also trying to use up leftovers to make different Buddha bowls, stir fries, casseroles, etc.  Time to get creative!