The Anxiety Chronicles: An Introduction

 

I have been having a lot of trouble with anxiety. It's not the first time in my life, and I'm sure it won't be the last. 

Being a woman of faith, there is a certain amount of guilt (for me) that goes along with anxiety and depression. I feel like my faith along should be enough! Every morning before work I read the Bible and do some study. I prayer journal, put on the full armor of God, watch a sermon, and listen to Praise and Worship. If all of that isn't helping to get rid of this anxiety - I must not have enough faith. I must be doing something wrong. 

There are a lot of areas where I have adjusted my life to simply avoid the anxiety. I don't go out much. I never go to crowded places, ride public transportation, go anywhere I feel "trapped" - like the center of an aisle or elevator. While this may not work for everyone, I've resigned myself to the fact that I'd rather be comfortable than fight my fear and go more places to be social. 

This solution; however, does NOT help with my job. Since the beginning of the year, my department changed along with my responsibilities. One of these things (which makes up about 30% of my job) gives me severe anxiety. I've been with this company six years. I love the company, love my coworkers, and love parts of my current position. I want to retire from this company, which means, I need to figure out this anxiety! 

I have made some strides - some very big strides, actually. I was in tears and having panic attacks for the first 90 days or so. I had a few appointments with a wonderful EAP counselor and things did get so much better. No more panic. No more tears. No avoidance. 

BUT - I now get anger and rage with the anxiety. I get headaches, stomach issues, and chest pain and tightness. That may not exactly sound "better" - but I do prefer it over the panic attacks! 

For the last two months I have been scouring the Internet/You Tube for motivational speakers, help with self esteem, productivity, etc. I've listened to some Christian speakers, some who study Stoicism, and others who are all about the to do lists and brain dumps. 

I need to throw in a caveat here - I do see my primary care doctor for my anxiety and depression and I have an appointment next week with a psychiatrist. I do think that self-help is important, but it does NOT take the place of seeing a trained professional. 

Although I am posting this on a public blog, it's more for my own healing. If anyone does read it - I would love for you to leave a comment and let me know if you also suffer with fear/dread/anxiety over anything in your life and if you have found ways to help. 

I have generalized anxiety disorder as well as social anxiety. I guess the two together have a lot of similarities as seen in the graphic below: 

This series is going to look at different ways to combat a cute anxiety. These are just things I've found online, from YouTube videos, books, etc. I am not a medical professional - I am trying to figure out what will best help ME in MY current situation. If you'd like to try some of the things that I share and they help you? That will make my heart very happy! 

What's to come: I plan on getting the first post up right away - as I have been researching and I'd like to put some of these things into motion. I'll also go over what I've already tried (which did help me get from panic attacks and hysterical tears to generalized dread/anger/anxiety) and what I'd like to try next. 

So, if you have anxiety and feel like nothing has really worked the way that you would like it to work or it hasn't given you enough relief or hasn't made you feel the way that you'd like to feel - then keep reading! 

Be blessed, 

Sherry 

aka Well-Versed Women