The Last Six Months of 2024

I'm not sure that I have ever been consistent with much throughout my life. This blog - and blogging in general - are a testament to that. I started a website last year and that lasted all of a few months before I realized it wasn't the right fit. I may try again later this year, but I'll be keeping this blog as well. This has been a very hard year for me. I know it has been for so many others too. 

Without getting into specifics, the world is on fire. That weighs very heavily on my heart! I allowed it to keep me in a deep depression for several months. 

 My fiance has been gone for the past three months and won't be home until about mid-February. He is taking care of his older brother through some health issues. He's having a hip replaced on January 13th, so any prayers you can send his way will be appreciated! 

 I lost my beloved cat very quickly to cancer in June. My heart is still broken. I loved that little scamp! He was just about to turn 10. He started showing symptoms only a few weeks before he was beyond hope. I had a lovely company come to the house to put him to sleep. He died in my arms, wrapped in a blanket. I'm tearing up thinking about him. He was my shadow. Such a hateful little thing but he was loyal as could be to me and loved me more than anything. I miss him. 

 My youngest, Emily, did not come home for Christmas. That was a crushing blow. I haven't seen her in over a year. She's doing really well and going to cosmetology school (her dream) and working, attending therapy, and spreading her wings. She sent us all thoughtful Christmas gifts and loved what we sent her. She's always been such a private person, and she doesn't share her life at all with me any more and it makes me wonder if I did something wrong raising her. I was way over protective and it made her very withdrawn. I love that girl to the depths of my soul and if how she turned out is any evidence of my mothering, then I guess I must have done a good job. She is so smart, kind, polite, hard-working, helpful, generous, and when she left - she was very family focused. 

 Those last three things have kept me in a downward spiral for the past several months. While I did read a couple of books for the season of Advent - I did not commercially celebrate Christmas this year as I normally do. There were gifts, yes. I did not bring down our tree and family ornaments. Did not decorate. Very little music, no Christmas movies. I was just too sad. Christmas Eve and Christmas day were blessed. I spent time with family and in the Word. It was just the the rest of it that I couldn't get the will to partake in. 

 I've also become somewhat disabled with my left knee. I have patellar subluxation. My knee partially dislocates - a lot. It's very painful. I have to use a walker around the house most days. If I don't, my knee just pops and becomes unstable. I'm afraid I'll fall. I have to use a knee brace and cane when I go out. That has added to my depression. 

 The final blow came two weeks ago. I absolutely love my job. I've been there five years and I've been doing my current job for over two years. I love my team and the work I'm doing. WELL - they dissolved my team. I'll be making a lateral move and at first I didn't even know what I would be doing and I panicked and sobbed for about 48 hours. My boss's boss's boss video called me to tell me he wants me to be patient and that in 2025 he'd like to promote me to another department when they are hiring. All of the unknown is not good for a person with severe depression and anxiety! But, I will have the same manager, who I love dearly. I've made such strong friendships with a few of the gals and even though people always say nothing will change - everything changes.

 Yes, there was a lot of bad stuff. Throw in the economy, raised rent, my sister having lung issues, not having a working car at the moment, my dad needing another heart procedure (it went well!) and I've just wanted to give up. 

 BUT. 

 Yes, there's a but.

 I have a lot to be thankful for. I have a great family who is very supportive. I still HAVE a job. We always have plenty of food in the fridge - except for eggs, because there are none in the store right now! I have a big old comfie house that is warm and safe. I have two of my children close. Jeff and I are still engaged and love one another and WILL be getting married in 2025! I'm still writing and have two books that will be published next year! I am working on other books as well with my writing group, who I love. I've started reading again after a long slump. I've missed it.

 Most of all, I feel back on track with God again. There is nothing more important than that. I hope anyone reading this has an incredibly blessed 2025! 

 Sherry (Well Versed Women)